How 'Bout We Don't

To say that I have been enjoying the beautiful weather we’ve had since Memorial Day would be an understatement. I’m hashtag outcheah, having as much fun as possible. Because I’m hashtag outcheah more than usual, I’ve seen a lot of familiar faces. At a concert in May, and a party this past Saturday, I saw familiar faces I hadn’t seen in years.


Female friends of an ex. And both instances occurred at the restroom.

The first time, I was washing my hands, and someone next to me goes “You’re [redacted’s] ex-girlfriend.” My homie was with me and she was ready to stroll up like Bey and her whoadies as I slowly turned my head to see who was speaking to me.


The second time, I was waiting in line at the restroom, “seal broken,” and someone goes “I know you from somewhere. Don’t do me like this. I’m drunk. But I know you.” I’m slightly tickled, slowly turned her towards me so I could see her face (She was outta there!) and was like “What is your name?” She says it, and I go “You’re [redacted’s] best friend.” I give the church hug and continue to wait. There is banter with a drunk guy going into the men’s room THAT NEVER HAS A LINE, then she goes “So, how’s life?"

See, this what we don't have to do. First of all, it's unnecessary. And B of all, she doesn't really care. I know she was rooting for her friend to get with someone else before her friend and I were over. I kept it short with “Life is good,” and continued to wait for the next available toilet.

This is the only ex I have whose female friends have come at me awkward. I don't get it. I don’t recall ever going up to exes of my male friends and saying anything to them! Not even when the liquor's in the system. It’s tacky, and unnecessary. The most I’ve probably done is tell a friend that I saw their ex. Other than that, I keep it moving.

I really have to stay away from public restrooms.

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