Bifcake Chronicles: Tinderoni

After obtaining proof from my ship that it’s not just a hook-up site, I joined Tinder last month. My profile has about 5 pics, and a very simple description:

“If you don’t acknowledge Pluto as a planet or looking for a FWB, keep it movin.”


What’s cool about about Tinder is I am looking at profiles of men of all ethnicities who are within the age range of interest, and the radius I’ve chosen. I have come across some interesting profiles:

  • Man looking for a sugar baby – We actually “matched” but I didn’t want to give up my cookies too. I have standards. *giggles*
  • Married couples looking for a woman to spice things up – Nah
  • Married men who are looking to just hook up – At least they’re honest
  • Men in their 30s & 40s with no kids, never been married, and currently single – I call these men “Unicorns.” 
  • Guys I know from high school or from hooping – I wanna match with them just so I can send a message saying “What the hell are you doing on here?” I just keep swiping.

There have been two Unicorns that I have been texting on the regular. One I went on a brunch date with this past weekend. He is much cuter in his pics. However, he had me cracking up at brunch. My face was hurting by the time we were leaving. We shall see how that goes.

The other unicorn seemed cool, based on text messages and his profile…until a phone conversation we had yesterday. I have a thing about outsiders coming in my city, residing here, then dissing it as if the entire city of Chicago, including all its citizens, ain’t shit. And that is basically what he was doing during the convo. He apologized after I told him he talks as if Chicago is beneath him. We're supposed to meet up on Friday after work for drinks. Ugh. That miiiiight be postponed.

AND...his "jokes" were lame. As someone who loves a good corny joke, for me to consider your jokes lame means you’re just…shut up!

Dating can be exhausting, yet fun at the same time. I joined Tinder to meet guys outside of my social circle. Kudos to me for keeping it going.

K to the...



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