Since turning 30, odd-numbered years have always been more challenging, whereas the even-numbered years have been the most fun. In 2013, I had a health scare that had me scared that I would never be able to have kids. In 2017, I realized I had been scammed by my dentist of 10 years, and had to have over $10K of corrective work done by another dentist office. Also, 2017 is the year I saw I was in an emotionally abusive relationship that I had to shut down, regardless of how cute folk thought we were or how cool they thought dude was.
When 2019 hit, I said this year was gonna be as dope as 2018. I found joy in everything, and I wanted to keep that same energy in 2019.
In September 2018, I received a promotion. However, that promotion was only on paper. I was a glorified secretary, handling the managerial duties my superior didn’t want to handle, like dealing directly with my co-workers who were now under me. I dealt with disrespect from two of the team members (one was almost written up), however my superior tried to make it seem like it was just me. I think “gaslighting” might be the appropriate term. However, when it was time for the annual review, one of the disrespectful team members revealed they had a problem with me instructing them.
Between dealing with disrespectful team members, and a superior who wouldn’t let me fully be a manager, I knew I needed a change. It got so bad, I was in search of a therapist because my usual coping methods - yoga, meditation and exercise - weren’t helping.
On 2/12/19, after my yoga practice, I wrote the following in my journal:
Well, I was 6 months early. On 3/25/19, I started a new gig thanks to a staffing agency. In the past, I didn’t have any success with staffing agencies. However, I approached the situation with a different mindset. I wasn’t just trying to get away from ACCESS, I wanted to be in a managerial position that allowed professional growth. I did so good in the interview, I was told an offer would be extended to me before I left.
With that, 2019 has gotten off to a kickass start. I experienced my first Second Line Sunday in my fave city, with my mom. I went to ATL with my girls for 47 hours to celebrated “my ridah’s” birthday. This past weekend, I continued my support of the LGBTQIA community by experiencing the ball culture in person (even walking in the made-up category), followed by dancing in the rain at the Chicago Pride Parade. My credit score has been in the excellent range since the beginning of this year, I have a date this weekend, and there are multiple Summertime Chi events that I will be attending this month. And when it’s time to go back into hibernation and the leaves on the trees start to change colors, I’ll be preparing to spend my 37th birthday (Daaaaaaammmmnnn!) on a beach where a passport is required.
Yes, there have been some moments when I have felt “blah,” and my therapist search will resume now that my benefits have kicked in (Hey now!). However, I’m finding the joy in everything in 2019, just like I did in 2018.
And I’ll toast to that.
K to the…