Forgive...and remember


When this showed up in my memories earlier this month, all I could say was “Wow!” I posted this after getting news of a former friend telling my personal business to someone who I didn’t know. This is someone with whom I went on a college tour as a h.s. senior that convinced me Bradley University would be where I’d spend the best 4 years of my young adult life. When we stepped foot on that campus, we were inseparable. If you saw one, you saw the other. And if you didn’t see us both, you asked where the other one was. We had the same major (cowinkydink) and were roomies all through undergrad (except for our extra semester). She was my friend.

Or so I thought.

After a day or two of cooling off, and knowing we were going to meet up with our BU peeps for dinner later that week, I sent her an email explaining why I no longer wanted to be her friend. Prior to this situation, I thought you couldn’t forgive someone until they apologized. However, I didn’t want or need an apology from her. I just didn’t want to be angry. To me, it was nothing else to do, except forgive her.

The topic of forgiveness has come up in multiple interviews I’ve listened to the past couple of weeks. And those who are about that forgiving life have said the same thing - forgiveness isn’t about the other person apologizing; it’s about you letting go of the hurt so you can move forward. 

And just because you forgive that person, it doesn’t mean you have to let them back in your life. I forgive, however, I don’t forget. I reconnected with the former friend on Facebook a few years ago. After awhile, I realized I didn’t care to be updated on her life, and didn’t want to want her to know what was going on in my life. So I ended the Facebook friendship. 

Moral of the story? Don’t wait for an apology. Acknowledge that hurt (remember what I said, previously, about feelings?) then start working on moving past that hurt and forgiving whomever hurt you. 

There are too many bottles of sparkling wine to be popped to hold on to that pain.

Yes, I’m still on the champagne/prosecco diet. 😏

K to the... 

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