Questions People Need to Stop Asking Me

I know people are still gonna ask, but I can dream. 

1. Why are you single? 
Because I’m not in a relationship.

2. When are you getting married?
*turns to imaginary beau sitting to my left*
When are you popping the question?

3. When are you having a baby? 
 *turns to imaginary beau who is now sitting to my right*
When are we gonna make this happen? Am I starting a new pack of pills on Sunday, or nah? I’m ready for some C-Cup breasts that will disappear after the human that grew inside me for 9-10 months sucks them dry.  

4. Are those extensions in your hair?
You know what happens when your hair doesn’t get cut for almost 6 years? It grows. Amazing, right?

5. Do you eat?
No need. My body acquires nourishment from nutrients stored in my hips and my butt. Science.

K to the... 

Getting even with the odd

Finding joy